We Have to Talk: Find & attend to the we in any given exchange


From Publisher’s Weekly— a review of We Have to Talk, coauthored with my wife, Janet Surrey:

Beginning with a small experimental group workshop on a weekend in Cape Cod in 1986, Shem, a psychiatrist, and [his wife] Surrey, a clinical psychologist, have conducted what they call “”gender dialogues”” all over the world. They reject the popular notion that men and women are so different that “”they might have hailed from different planets,”” dismissing the idea as a “masked return to the stereotypic 1950s.” Instead they argue that “[d]isconnections in male-female relationships impact everyone: in families, schools, corporations, medical settings, courtrooms, and government.” The authors offer a “relational” approach for more honest and mutually beneficial communication by applying the Connection Model–developed at the Stone Center at Wellesley College, where they are faculty members–to find and attend the “we” in any given exchange.

Read the full review here


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